Sung to the tune of Blaydon Races

They all went down to Birmingham
On the 24th of May
Hoping God would smile on them
Upon the Sabbath day
Proud as punch in stripey shirts
Cream of the Geordie nation
Ganning along to Villa Park
To see the relegation

Chorus:
Oh me lads, you should've seen them crying
Watching the shambles on the pitch
Premier dreams a'dying
All the lads and lasses there
All had gloomy faces
Ganning doon to the Championship
With aal of Shearer's aces

Now way back in September
They told a different tale
Old King Kev was back in charge
How could the buggers fail?
But then along came Dennis Wise
Who dared to travel norf
Kevin didn't like the tw*t
And quickly buggered orf!

Oh me lads! I think they need a genie
Owen unfit, Xisco's sh*t and what of Collocini?
Given was a great keeper but left the sinking ship
And Harper will be canny good
Doon in the Championship
Now after Keegan scarpered
They all cried in their beer
But fear not, up next they got good old Joe Kinnear
He fecking came and fecking got the tw*ts to play their best
Then who'd a fecking thought it, fecking cardiac arrest

Oh me lads, the bugger’s in the Freeman
Ashley's scared to watch a game
The fans are all a steamin'
And I will not apologise for nasty tasteless quips
It'll do the buggers good to be doon in the championship
With poor Joe confined to bed
For his recuperation

They wondered who could be the man
To save the 'Geordie Nation'
Who could turn this team around
Before they turned to violence?
Hughton got the nod and came out
To the sound of silence

Oh me lads!I'm ganna chuck me seat
The mackems beat us at their place
And now we've had to cheat
Then aal the toon went on the hoy
And got themselves all plastered
And raised a glass to Taylor who’s
A cheating diving b*stard!
Ashley looked around and saw the damage that they’d done
He’d lost a couple of hundred mill
For every game they’d won
He sank another pint in one
And had a revelationMary Poppins is the one
To save the Geordie Nation

Oh me lads!The Toon are aal but dead
Obafemi’s injured (or at least that’s what he said)
Ah can’t believe with Alan boss
We haven’t got much higher
Or is he just like Keegan
Just another false messiah

Oh me lads!The Toon are in the clarts
No more trips to Anfield
Now it’s off to foreign parts
Tell aal the cheeky mackems
That this story isn’t over
Follow the Toon Army AND……
We’ll watch Doncaster Rovers

Steve "Slick" Martin

Steve Bruce Takes Charge

Steve Bruce has returned to his native north-east as manager of Sunderland, leaving Wigan Athletic to search for a replacement.Bruce, 48, who supported Sunderland's arch-rivals Newcastle United as a boy, has signed a three-year contract, the club said.He takes over from interim coach Ricky Sbragia, who stood down at the end of the season after replacing Roy Keane during a campaign in which Sunderland only escaped relegation on the final day.Bruce, who spent the bulk of his playing career at Manchester United, has managed Sheffield United, Huddersfield Town, Wigan twice, Crystal Palace and Birmingham City since retiring as a player in 1999.He guided Wigan to 11th place this season, while Sunderland finished two places above the relegation zone in 16th.His appointment was the first significant change for Sunderland since American businessman Ellis Short assumed complete control of the club in May.
"It's the perfect time, I've worked 10 or 11 years in management for an opportunity at a club like this one," Bruce told a televised news conference at Sunderland's academy."You are always looking for a big challenge and to take the next step and this is the perfect step for me and I can't wait to get started."This is what I've always wanted. A big club with a big challenge and a huge ambition and it's up to me know to put a team on the pitch to take the club forward."
Chairman Niall Quinn said: "He's going to bring a vital ingredient that I think has been missing at our club and that's a mentality and a strength that will drive us to where we need to be."He knows all too well what football means to this region. Throughout his playing and managerial career he epitomised what it means to be a football person from the north-east and I look forward to our club representing those values on the pitch."If we can get the steel into our dressing room that Steve brings I think it will bring rewards for our club."
Sunderland paid Wigan an undisclosed amount in compensation for Bruce's services and both clubs praised each other for the honourable way in which the deal was done."Niall is a perfect gentleman. I believe in football and in life if someone wants to work with you that's fine, but if they want to work for someone else, you have to respect that," Wigan owner Dave Whelan said.-Reuters